I am confused.
I do not know, if I ought to cherish the glimpses of you brushing your hair with your fingers or think that this is not what I ought to be doing.
Many a time, I look at you, just to find you sharing your smiles with everyone else, but me, and I feel if once you smiled at me, maybe, we could have a conversation.
Not the ones, that we know, but the sharing of those rooted words, that leave this mouth, maybe once in a lifetime and never for anyone else.
There are so many maybe’s that come to my mind, when I perceive you. You could be the best person I have ever met, and I could show you, all the trails that have been traced by the fingers and the words of people, who have come and left. But, I would have made sure that your imprint was indelible, that would never halt from travelling miles of skin of this body, that has no wish to be felt by any other.
Only if I could turn time, and maybe, time is the sole reason of our suffering. Everything is same, and yet nothing will remain the same. I haven’t changed, and you? I do not know about you, but I want to.
I long to,
Know you, and, endeavour to feel the glee, that you feel for small things, that matter in the simplest way. But, I do not know, if this could ever take the shape of reality and feasibility. I know, maybe you do not want any of those, or maybe you do, but I do not know you, which is the stumbling block on this way to your soul.
There will be a time, when I’ll look up, and won’t find you, and that time has come, to snatch even the slightest of you left in me. There will be a time, when I’ll see you again, but it will never match up to infinity, however bad I wish to settle for nothing but one added to infinity. Maybe, that time would never knock on my door. But if it did, I would make sure to erase nothing, and start afresh.
If I should, or if I should not, I do not know, but I like to ponder how it would have been to get to see you turn to me, and smile for merely, nothing but to simply show that I matter to you. I do not know where it would lead me to, but wherever it did, I would go. That road would be long and unending, but I will walk, till these legs give up, and the life is out of this flesh.
I cannot even imagine, if this would be anything, but utter stupidity of an immature person, who hasn’t even explored her sexuality, but I do not care. Sometimes, decisions are taken, with an irrational mind, and I want to see every possibility out there to be cherished, through the ravages of time. Without any idea of what I am doing, I truly long to see things with you, and maybe for this once, feel something new, and not regret it.
For once, I wanted to know you.
Have a great life.
*Feel free to give your views*
PS. Have you ever felt that way? Lighten me with some of your stories.